Insanity in the snow

ok, here's how it went.
Plan: Lesson with Matt Sheridan at his place in Tehachapi.  Sorta worried about fee and our budget, but prayed it'd work out.

Night before: got a email from Matt about hauling a horse up for him from Phelan for the price of my lesson (prayer does get answered, thank you God). Make arrangements, get horse, take Kelly with me for advice and general entertainment value. Also she sees me ride more and can continue the things Matt sees/tells me. And if I'm lucky she'll offer to drive home and I can nap.

Morning of: outta bed, showered, etc. got horse picked up, Kellys along with... Everythings going smoothly. Unload at Matts saddle up (it is a biting 36 degrees with a overcast sky and 15 MPH winds, snow flurries half way thru lesson). 

First off, Kit is fresh, so she's walking and looking and looking and not paying me much mind. Matt says, No this is not allowed, she is to pay attention to you and give you her face and shoulder and ribs at all times. No bracing or bending against you or heavens not pulling on you.  He takes over, Kit softens up her face, shoulder, and ribs from the ground in the halter and starts walking like the lady I know she can be. Mmmmm, what am I doing wrong that would give that bad habit a start.  <-- Being too lenient and not paying attention to where her body is from the ground. ok got it work on that.

Into the round coral (not even the arena), ok this will be a basics day. She needs that (maybe? I guess Matt would know- its what I paying for right?).  He works her again from the ground about 4 or 5 times left then only one time right and then back left.  His release and demand is consistent and smooth, timing flawless, the mare is learning to give her face,shoulders, and ribs to him as asked, when asked, as much as is asked, no more. Then he climbs on her, same lesson with variation of adding the halter as a left side rein to help me(him) stay outta her mouth and still get the necessary bend etc. Gets her going good, settled in great. 

This whole time Kelly is whacking me in the arm everytime Matt says something she has been telling me for the last 6 months, ok she only actually connected 3-4 times, but she was constantly giving me the "see, its the same lesson we've been having for the last 6 months."  This must be so frustrating for her to have to listen to the same stuff she's been saying over and over to me again from a different angle.  She tries handing me the new camera to take pictures, so I try and use it for all of 5 minutes and give it back to her because I can't concentrate on what he's saying and take pictures. Screw the pictures I'm here for the lesson.

Crap, now its time for me to ride the mare.  On we go, and its the same lesson over and over. at one point he was pulling on my sleeve like I pull on the mare. I had no clue, so I was just giving to the pressure and leaning over toward him, he kept pulling and finally said, are you gonna let me pull you off of this horse? I am clueless what he is trying to get across, so I look at him like, Is that what you want me to do? What do you want me to do pull back?, so I try resisting, and he pulls again and releases the moment I give. Then he pulls again and says this is how I want you to pull and releases as fast as I give in a smooth pull, release. Then he pulls again and says this is how you are pulling and pulls lightly, I give and he only lightens the pressure then pulls again lightly, I give more and he holds the pull and asks me what I would do if this was one of my kids. I take a light swat at his head and he says, "Exactly what the mare is doing, isn't it?"  She is wanting it this way... demonstrating correctly again and you are giving her this demonstrating what I'm doing wrong again.  You've got to really release this mare, she wants you to throw her head away when she gives you what you want.

So I try it, he corrects,
I try it ok better,
I try it not quick enough,
I try it nope, pull smoothly until you get the change, then dump her.
I try it no don't shake the rein at her pull smoothly until she gives, then release.
But she isn't holding the bend,
so turn her again, add another corner to the circle (really a polygon).
Pick up, release,
pick up release again, again, again.....
right, wrong wrong right better wrong ...
relax your hand after you release her you look like a SpEd kid. pick up release pick and hold...
When she's given her ribs take a leg off and let her stop
look for her release of your pressure, release her there.
getting better, practice sliding your hand up the rein to shorten it, more, your not picking her up enough. 

Its like your teaching a kid learning division and rewarding her for putting her pencil on the paper, but not writing any answer. Pull through smoothly until you get the change, don't let her take the rein away until she's given, then give her all she wants.

Now try right, she's not a resistant this way because your hand comes out to the side more naturally, stop pulling straight to the hip on the left, its gotta be out to the knee at the side.  Right is easier for you (why is that? I'm lefthanded??)

Now back left, no don't pull up, pull out to the side.  What was that? A fix not a turn... I just wanted her face straight not a turn. ok, no for now its gotta be a turn if you touch her face, left or right, but turn even if its only a slight corner, make it a change in her body. 

ok you lost forward, flap (not spur or cue) just bounce your inside leg on her with no pressure on her face, get forward then ask for turn, ok try that start again. gather your reins like your going to do something, squeeze and tip forward, flap your leg if she won't move.  He likes a horses that needs a little winding up to get moving.  good you've got forward now pick up and turn, release her, pick up, release, pick up, release, better, not enough, don't shake your rein smooth pulls to her change and release.

End of lesson: we ended on a postive note couple of good turns and releases.

Take her up an tie her to a rail and watch the next lesson. Rene on Star in  the two rein setup. They are much further along then us. We still are in the snaffle and seem stuck there forever. Will I ever learn the timing and intensity and ability to read this mare? She is telling me what she wants and I don't know how to give it to her.

My habits seem to never change and aren't getting any better, have I peaked out as a trainer? No matter how hard I try and visualize what needs doing, practice doing it right (or so I think), its never right, its always the same issue for the last six months (Kelly will probably say years) but glaringly for the last 6 months.

At times like these I feel like an English teacher trying to teach Spanish to 3rd graders when what they really need is long division math.  I have reached a point that I am blindly searching for the correct way to do it, and not knowing what the correct way should look like when I get it or how to I got the corect way if I did get it.  The only thing I can compare it to is trying to teach somebody to change a tire when they have never even seen a tire on a car to know what needs changing and there is no car in sight.  I'd like to ride a more finished horse once or twice under total supervison, so I can get my cueing, releasing, and timing down better before trying to teach it to my green reining horse Kit. 

The only time I ever actually rode a trained finished horse was once in a long time ago when somebody let me ride their "old rope horse." "Be careful Snake's a mean one" was all the warning I got.  He was a little rusty, but from what I'd seen Kelly do, I asked this horse to spin and viola he spun, slowly at first, then when I asked for speed, he gave it to me. Oh Lord in Heaven, what a wonderful feeling.  He turned right better then he turned left, but he did both pretty good for me not even having done more than watching Kelly school her horses(15 years before).  When I finished playing with him the owner got down off the fence and said, How'd you make him do that? I've never seen him do that except to dump somebody off. He's never done that on command, what did you do?  Then he wouldn't let me ride him anymore, because I petted him and told him he was a good boy and  I was spoiling him.

Drove home,  unloaded, fed the crew and went up to the house to cry out my frustrations....  Now you've read the whole nasty story.... What do I do?